Watering tips for the idiots!

I've come to believe that the average home owner is just plain incompetent and lazy.
What other explanation is there for the fact that people don't put water on their lawns when they are in need?
Are these same home owners changing the filter in the furnace? ...filling the softener with salt? ...scrubbing the soap scum from the bath tub? ...washing their dishes? ...etc?
Aren't there certain responsibilities that come with home ownership?
The answer is, "yes!"

What's more? Well, these same novice home owners will hire a lawn care company to fertilize the lawn throughout the year, but complain when the lawn is not dark green in the middle of July.

You know what we in the industry want to say to you dumb-asses?
"You try going 3 weeks without water and see how brown and crispy you look, Jerkweed!"

So, if you are willing to live up to your responsibility as a home owner, here are the best practices for watering mid-west lawns:

1) 2-3 times per week in each area for 1 solid hour. IOW, a good soaking 3 times per week in the hottest months.
2) water in the mornings if possible to avoid fungal growth.
3) use a sprinkler that keeps the water low to the ground and in larger droplets. Small mist tends to drift away and evaporate quickly. Large soaker drops penetrate to the root system of the lawn quickly.

Lots of people with expensive sprinkler systems have it all wrong too. They program the system to turn on everyday in each zone for 10 minutes. This causes a major thatch buildup because the water does not penetrate to the root system, rather it sits on top of the lawn. In this case, over time, the grass roots turn upward to get to this water and create major "spongy" thatch issues that literally choke the turf.

Good luck! :)